it's been one of those weeks. i keep thinking that everything is closing in on me. i envy those who can take a day off work and lay on the couch and take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile.
it's all right - you can afford to lose a day or two.
i'm sure it's true, but i'm just too practical anymore. motherhood will stomp all over your dreams in a way that actually makes you think you were silly to think that even for one second...
my daughter was in the hospital this week in much the same fashion as she was when she was 15 months old. the way she looked at me while we were in the back of the medic still has me numb. her eyes were pouring out "why?" and they reflected fright against my adrenaline rush of smiles and assured posture like i knew what i was doing.
she's okay, now, i keep telling everyone. but am i? i haven't really processed it, i don't think. it's almost like it was too easy to be responsible - to just do what i had to do. i didn't have time to think about how it affected me. and i guess that's okay - what is this, cheap therapy?
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