Neglect or Paranoia

So I've been sending out these letters. Writing letters. Writing emails to get addresses to send letters. Realizing I'm not on everyone's radar. I don't get letters back. I don't even get emails with addresses back. It's exhausting to put yourself out there and get nothing in return. Definitely not fair to expect anything - and of course, that wasn't my goal in all of this. But in the interest of self-preservation, I almost can't wait until March 1st.


i had guards like watchdogs
dogs in a manger
i could feel the protection
possession and anger
and i drove out of there
with no one behind me
feeling funny and free

all you pretty pretenders
negligent vendors
aren't you precious inside
i have no need for anger
with intimate strangers
and i got nothing to hide

i laughed as i said it
this is my situation
it's not pictures or privilege
its just self preservation
i don't want you to feel any obligation
would it be so funny to be free

all you pretty pretenders
negligent vendors
aren't you precious inside
i have no need for anger
with intimate strangers
and i got nothing to hide
(indigo girls)

Feeling bitter. Spirals back to being left behind over and over again - since the day I was born.